It’s virtually virgin territory, you know, the science of identifying different personality traits by ice machine selection. Luckily, a new study conducted by the UEWN (University of East Western Nome) helps shed some light on the subject. As is standard practice, the application of proper scientific method begins with a hypothesis, and we must thank Professor Fruzensak for his great insight and general preoccupation and subsequent observation of the far ranging phenomena that have contributed to the formulation thereof.
The professor, also known as the Jane Goodall of the equipment aisle, was in the process of surveying reproductive habits of sous chefs in the small wares department of several well known restaurant supply houses throughout the Billings, Mt. area.
While this endeavor unfortunately fell short and failed to add to the vast quantity of knowledge previously accumulated on the subject by predecessors such as Dr. B. Anna Foster and her graduate assistant, Sherry Flambe, as published in their seminal work: Fifty Chefs of Gay; a tongue in cheek look at Prevalent Patterns of Preheating Promiscuity. Meanwhile, back behind the over-fired broiler, Fruzensak noticed a strange but curious development.
It began with the nugget ice machines on display. More often than not, a particular purchaser would approach the Ice-O-Matic nugget ice machine and uncontrollably launch into what can only be described as an Ethel Merman impersonation of Gene Kelly’s rendition of Singing in the Rain.
Could there be something diabolical afoot, or was this joy purely associated with a natural reaction to the sense of joy that the whimsical ice nuggets create, whether one chooses ice machine leasing with guaranteed ice or decides on a full service lease to own? At this point, Fruzensak eschewed lewd food dudes and focused his powers of observation purely on the mood altering effects of ice machines on an unsuspecting public.
Could it actually be possible that nugget ice machines on a full service lease with guaranteed ice preternaturally predict predilections promoting propositions of precocious proprietary precedence? Oh, Casey, there is joy in Mudville, Fruzensak has inextricably linked the predominant purchaser of Ice-O-Matic nugget ice machines to viewers of movies co-starring Donald O’Connor.